THE CAFFEINE
a poem by BADBOB
 
I'm on the edge, I'm on caffeine
No conversations, only screams.
I could cut down, but not today
my mind is racing, miles away.
 
There's just one thing that's on my mind.
It keeps me going all the time.
It's not the symptom, it's not the cause
that makes me drive against the law.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
I try to sleep, it's late at night.
My eyes are closed, but I'm uptight.
My last "cup-a-joe" was after six,
a temptation great to serve my fix.
 
Who's to blame for my demise
that keeps me troubled til sunrise?
It's not outrageous, nothing queer,
it's not a joint or glass of beer
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
I'm at Joe's Diner at quarter til dawn.
I see a new waitress clocking on.
It's just my luck, she's serving me,
and asks me gently, "Coffee or Tea".
 
Before I spoke, she jumped the gun,
and thought she'd guess it, just for fun.
"You'll have the decaf, I can tell."
I said, "Your Satan, go to hell!"
 
I just want caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
I built an alter to coffee high.
It's from my backyard to the sky.
Some say I'm crazy, some say I'm dumb.
Where is this love of coffee from?
 
It's from the drug inside the bean.
It's from the holy drug caffeine!
It's not the just the flavor, or how it looks.
It's not from pictures found in books.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
I'd like to know who devised this trend,
to suck the caffeine from nature's blend.
I'm not the mayor, not the lawyer, or judge,
but from my convictions, I shall not budge.
 
On the subject of coffee, that's what I mean,
and absurd removal of caffeine.
What makes my love of coffee grow?
What picks me up when I feel low?
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
Some go for decaf, they think it's cool.
Some say their doctor made this rule.
Some dude in L.A. must have made this up
because he couldn't handle a single cup.
 
That's where all the trends begin,
just like that codependant binge.
The world will suffer for this mistake,
for sucking life from something great.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
Coffee..... my drug of choice.
It's my only dominant voice.
Inside my head and body too,
it commands the actions that I do.
 
Drive to work, or drive to play,
just remember where your loyalties lay.
I'm ruled by coffee, I'm not ashamed,
there's not one person I can blame.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
I drink coffee when I wake.
It goes with every breath I take.
I pray to coffee every day.
My devotion to it never strays.
 
My love for people comes and goes.
My love for life I'll never know.
There's one thing certain, that's for sure.
My love of coffee will endure.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.
 
Caffeine is special, and radical too.
It's not confined to any rules,
like "i before e except after c".
It's got our language on it's knees!
 
It rhymes with "fiend" and "feeling mean".
It's friends with drugs like nicotine.
I don't pretend to be refined,
and drink great coffee all the time.
 
It's just the caffeine and nothing more.
It's just the caffeine that I adore.

Dave Nolan adds:

Some fix, I know,
you must be in,
why not just pop
a vivarin.

Tho pumped it is,
caffein it sports,
that bean we seek
some taste purports.

More than a drug,
that bev we chug.
Taste mighty fine,
caf Philistine.