From: Shane Hudson Newsgroups: alt.tv.muppets Subject: Detailed CML Date: 22 Nov 1995 20:15:20 GMT After much work, I can finally present the DETAILED Comprehensive Muppet Listing. I thank all who submitted information. If you have more info or new muppets that I haven't mentioned, send 'em to: shane.hudson@city.moncton.nb.ca The muppets are presented alphabetically, starting with: Name: Animal Species: Unknown Series: The Muppet Show Description: Hyperkinetic drummer. Drum-battled with Buddy Rich. Dr. Honey- -dew!s growth formula made Animal huge in !The Muppet Movie!. Has reddish-pink fur, glaring eyes and large teeth. Wears shredded short-pants. Sometimes can be seen being walked by Floyd. Quotes: !Want woman!! !Pant, pant, pant, pant! Name: Annie Sue Species: Pig Series: The Muppet Show Description: Shirley Temple with a snout. Perky stage novice who Miss Piggy was jealous of. Has curly blonde hair and patronizes Kermit and Piggy ad nauseum. Quotes: n/a Name: Barkley Species: Dog Series: Sesame Street Description: Stupid Spawn of Beathoven. A frequent companion of Big Bird, Barkley is a HUGE brown and white sheep-kind of dog with a large mouth and a lolling tongue. Quotes: !Arf! Arf!! Name: Basil Species: Bear, Polar Series: Sesame Street (Canada) Description: Kinda dopey. This big lug usually hangs around with Louie. Whitish-grey in color, Basil has a sleepy sounding voice, but you can!t but help liking the big guy. Quotes: !...Like a shoe! (chuckle, chuckle, chuckle)! Name: Beaker Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Neurotic lab assistant/subject. Classic example of the effects of prolonged shock-therapy. Beeker has a tall and thin head, with bulging eyes, a slash of a mouth, and a shock of red hair on top. Wears a white lab coat. Dr. Honeydew!s experiments always result in Beaker getting hurt badly. Voice sounds like a cross between an Ewok and a bad 60!s Sci-Fi movie computer. Quotes: !Mee-mee-mee-mee! Hoooo! Hoooo! Hoooo!! Name: Bert Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Monotonic nerd. Room-mate of Ernie. Perpetual sraight-man to Ernie!s antics. Always getting gypped. Collects bottlecaps and talks to pigeons. Has yellow, pointed head, a tiny bit of black hair, an orange nose, and one big eyebrow. Wears a vertical striped shirt. Has nasal voice and machine-gun laugh. Quotes: !La-la-la-la Lemons!! !Ernayyyy!! !Doin! the er-er Pigeon...! Name: Biff Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Know-it-all construction foreman. Hangs around with buddy Sully. Wears silver hard hat and a non-descript jacket. Voice sounds like stereotypical yonkers cabbie. Quotes: n/a Name: Big Bird Species: Unknown Avian Series: Sesame Street Description: Gargantuan canary. Eight feet tall, yellow, and covered with feathers. Long beak, orange legs and big feet. Best friends are Snuffy, Barkley and Radar, his teddy bear. Lives in a big nest in the alley behind Oscar!s place. Acts like a six year old trapped in an emu!s body. Quotes: n/a Name: Boober Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Neurotic laundry guy. Wears a floppy cap on his mop of red hair which always covers his eyes. Morose and pess- -imistic, Boober hangs out with Wembley. Quotes: n/a Name: Camilla Species: Chicken Series: The Muppet Show Description: Chicken Rockette. Adores Gonzo (as all chickens do) and follows him around faithfully. Standard white chicken that clucks and sometimes wears jewellery and clothing. Quotes: !Bruk, bruk, bruk...! Name: Cookie Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Gluttonous pseudo-intellectual. Looks like a blue, furry bean-bag with googly eyes. Will ingest nearly any known material, but is especially partial to COOKIES! Tried to eat Guy Smiley once. Quotes: !Gimme cookie!! !Ahm-num-num-num... (crumble, crumble)! !Dum dee dum dum dum...! !Welcome to Monsterpiece Theater! !Cowa bunga!! Name: Crazy Harry Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Psychotic pyromaniac. Short, raving, lunatic with bags under his eyes and a tangle of wild, black hair on his head. Cackle!s insanely. Quotes: !Did somebody say bang? (KA-BOOM!)! Name: Don Music Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Depressed musical failure. Writes nursery rhymes with distorted lyrics. Gets discouraged easily. Would probably be suicidal if not for Kermit!s help. Looks like Guy Smiley with glasses. Probably a chronic migraine sufferer due to repeated head trauma. Quotes: !Oh I!ll never get it! Never! (PWANG!)! Name: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Sadistic researcher. Usually seen in lab with assistant Beaker. Performs bizarre experiments (using Beaker) and tests wierd contraptions (on Beaker) usually resulting in bodily injury (to Beaker). Short, bald fellow with thick glasses which hide his eyes. Wears labcoat. Quotes: !Now Beaker, hod still, this won!t hurt a bit...! Name: Dr. Strangepork Species: Pig Series: The Muppet Show Description: Techno-babbling scientist. Short pig with a ring of white hair, a doctor!s head-mirror-thing, and a labcoat? Pigs-in-Space science officer and answer to Spock. Quotes: n/a Name: Dr. Teeth Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Rock pianist. Has floppy, multi-colored top-hat, rubbery arms, and a gold tooth amidst a very toothy grin. (Hence the name) Leader of the !Electric Meyhem!. Quotes: !We are, am, and IS the Eelectric Meyhem! heh, heh, heh! Name: Elmo Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Cute personified. Small, red monster with orange nose. Talks in tiny, high-pitched, child voice. Views every aspect of the world with wonder. Quotes: !Hey everybody! Elmo has a LIBRARY CARD!! Name: Ernie Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Nemesis of Bert. Lives with and annoys room-mate Bert. Likes to play the drums and play with a rubber duckie in the tub. Has orange skin, oval face, and a tuft of black hair. Quotes: !Hey, Bert!! !Hmm-hmm-hmm.! Name: Floyd Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Burnt guitarist. Moustached and bearded, Floyd wears an confederate american civil war cap. Utterly devoid of any muscle tone whatsoever, Floyd!s arms are like striped pipe cleaners. His eyes are black circles that !squinch! when he blinks. You may have seen Floyd at Woodstock. Quotes: !Animal! Heel boy! Down! Sit!! Name: Flying Zucchini Bros. Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Excitable acrobats/daredevils. These small, moustached, green suited acrobats ignore personal safety and hurl themselves from the ceiling, fire themselves from cannons, and bounce themselves from trampolines. Quotes: !Ey! Ey! Ey!! Name: Forgetful Jones Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Dyslexic cowpoke. Has round head, brown moustache, red neck bandana, and a cowboy hat. Forgets things immediately upon hearing them. I can relate to this guy... Quotes: !Hee hee! I ferrrgot agayin! Hoo hoo!! Name: Fozzie Species: Bear, Brown Series: The Muppet Show Description: Hopeless quasi-comedian. Covered with short, brown fur, and wears a brown derby and a white tie with red polka-dots. Wants to be the worlds funnies comedian, but has a fatal flaw: his jokes suck. Easily intimidated by Statler and Waldorf. He!d be a blast in real life, methinks. Quotes: !Ahhhhhh! Wakka-wakka-wakka! Thank YOU, thank YOU, and thank YYYYOU!! Name: Geefle Species: Alien Series: Sesame Street Description: Jointless Fruit picker. Could reach fruit on Koosbanian nectarine tree, but could not bend elbows to put fruit in mouth. Tall and yellow, with a furry body and tuft of hair on top of head. High pitched voice. Quotes: !No. Let!s call it... Shirley!! Name: George the Janitor Species: Human (Dog?) Series: The Muppet Show Description: Depressed domestic engineer. George can normally be seen mopping the back-stage area of Muppet Theater wearing light blue coveralls and cap. He is charcoal grey in color, with a big nose and straggly grey hair. Speaks slowly and sounds a bit dull. Quotes: n/a Name: Gobo Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: The brightest of the Fraggles. A dark orange fraggle with reddish-purple hair and a striped shirt, Gobo is the unofficial leader of the small group of main-character Fraggles. His best friends are Wembley and Boober. Quotes: n/a Name: Gonk Species: Alien Series: The Muppet Show Description: Stunted Geefle stuffer. Too short to reach fruit on Koozbanian nectarine tree, he could only eat when the Geefle gave him some of the fruit. The Gonk is short and blue, with bendable elbows. Deep, gravelly voice. Quotes: !Lets call it... cooperation!! Name: Gonzo the Great Species: Wierdo? Series: The Muppet Show Description: Undescribable Freak. Here goes anyway: Gonzo is blue in color, with bulging eyes and a hooked beak/nose. He has stringy arms and legs (Thanks to John Cleese) and has a weakness for chicken... Hobbies include getting shot out of a cannon and brick wrestling. Quotes: n/a Name: Grouchetta Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Oscar!s other half. Grungy looking, even for a grouch, Grouch- -etta looks like a skinny Oscar with a bow on her head. Her voice sounds rough and grating, with a NY kind of accent. Quotes: !Hey Oscah!! Name: Grover Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Close second for cute personified. One of the original !old guard! muppets, Grover is a very likeable fellow. He is dark blue in color and covered with fur, with a spherical head and red lips. He has bandy legs and arms, and a small pot-belly to boot. Close buddy of Kermit. Quotes: !Hey froggy baby!! !And I am CUTE too!! !Hello Harry, old chap, old bean!! Name: Guy Smiley Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Obnoxious and pushy game show host. A human-muppet with a long face and black hair, Guy usually wears a navy blazer and white shirt. He hosts all of the Sesame Street game shows, and was nearly eaten by Cookie once because his name rhymed with !pie!. Quotes: !You want to buy this pie?! Name: Harry Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Grouchy version of Cookie. This big, fuzzy blue monster has a large, red nose and a big mouth. Hangs around with Cookie, who helped him eat a bicycle once. Co-starred with grover in !Chariots of Fur!. Quotes: !Hello Grover, old chap, old chum!! Name: Hoggle Species: Dwarf? Series: Labyrinth Description: Whiney pilferer and orienteer. Stumpy halfling with trousers, shirt, and cap. Knows the labyrinth like the back of his tiny hand. Face like a burnt clutch. Heavily intimidated by the Goblin King. Quotes: n/a Name: Janice Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Electric Meyhem female guitarist. Janice is thin, with long, straight, blonde hair and big, red, lips. I think she!s Floyd!s main squeeze or something. Somehow reminds me of !Grace Under Fire! (Butler?) Quotes: !Like I!m Janice, on the gi-tar, fer sher.! Name: Junior Species: Gorg Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Big and dumb (even for a Gorg). Real-human-sized muppet antagonist of the Fraggles. He is a chubby fellow, with short legs, straggly hair and a slow mind underneath. Quotes: !Oooh! I get you fwaggle!! Name: Kermit Species: Frog Series: Sesame Street/The Muppet Show Description: The Bob Newhart of Sesame Street. Kermit really seems like the only normal guy on Sesame Street. The Adam of the muppet world. Boyfriend/Husband of Miss Piggy, best friend of Grover. Do I really have to describe his appearance? Quotes: !Hi-ho! Kermit the frog here with another fast-breaking news story.! Name: Lou Zealand Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Stunt fish chucker. Small guy with black hair and a french moustache. Throws and catches boomerang mackerel for a living. has a frilled collar like a clown. Never really gets a chance to perform, always kyboshed by Kermit. Quotes: !Eyyyyy!!!! Name: Louie Species: Otter Series: Sesame Street (Canada) Description: Caffienated Linquist. Louie is a skinny, hyper, brown guy. He is fluent in French, and usually hangs around with Basil. Quotes: n/a Name: Miss Piggy Species: Pig Series: The Muppet Show Description: Frog-chopping martial arts expert. Kermit!s other half. Very aggressive/opinionated pig who believes herself to be the center of the Universe. Don!t EVER get her mad... Quotes: !Kermeee!! !Haiiii-AHHHH!!! (THUD!)! Name: Moki (Mokey?) Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: The Fraggle From Woodstock. Moki is very mellow. Really mellow. She is tall for a fraggle, with wispy white hair and a serene expression. She wears a grey cloak, and is very artistic. Somehow reminds me of !Phoebe! on !Friends! Quotes: n/a Name: Muppy Species: Dog Series: The Muppet Show Description: Entrepreneurial mutt. No information available. Quotes: n/a Name: Oscar the Grouch Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Cranky hermit/packrat. Stout, mangy, green monster that lives in a trashcan with virtual rooms. Loves trash. Usually seen with Grouchetta. Likes dill-pickle ice cream with sardines. Quotes: !Scram! Get lost! Heh, heh, heh...! Name: Prairie Dawn Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Made of sugar. Golden haired and petite of stature, PD is the epitome of !oversweetness!. PD skits often involve Grover. Quotes: !Oh welcome, oh welcome, to our little play...! Name: Red Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Fiery egomaniac. Red is an orange fraggle with !Pippy- -longstocking! red braids and a blazing temperament to match. Always at odds with the rest of the Fraggles, Red often acts first and thinks later. Prone to temper tantrums. Wears a red sweater. Quotes: n/a Name: Rizzo Species: Rat Series: The Muppet Show Description: Rizzo + Gonzo = Hilarious. Scrawny, brown, sidekick of Gonzo. Quotes: n/a Name: Robin Species: Frog Series: The Muppet Show Description: Kermit!s naive nephew. This small, green frog often partic- -ipates in Muppet songs, and is often seen with his uncle, Kermit. A real wimp. Quotes: n/a Name: Roosevelt Franklin Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Hip-hoppin! whiz-kid. Small muppet child with wild hair and a knack for rhyming. Encourages kids to stay in school and stuff like that. Quotes: n/a Name: Rowlf Species: Dog Series: The Muppet Show Description: Intellectual pianist/philospher. Excellent classical pianist who dispenses various tidbits of useful knowledge. Dark brown in color, with a round, shiny, black nose and big floppy ears. Has a deep, gravelly voice and cringes when working with Fozzie. Quotes: !You... and I and George... we!re walking through the park one day...! Name: Rudo (Ludo?) Species: Unknown Series: Labyrinth Description: Shuffling hulk. Huge, reddish brown bigfoot kind of guy with down-curving horns and long fur. Rescued from inept goblin hunters by whats-her-name. Friend of rocks everywhere. Talks VERY slowly. Loyal and strong, but not too bright. Quotes: !Smell bad!! Name: Sam Species: Eagle Series: The Muppet Show Description: Dignified and noble prude. This light-blue eagle with a noble and dignified air tries to bring some stern discipline to The Muppet Show. Unfortunately, Sam is surrounded by beings who take NOTHING seriously. Kind of like the !Frasier! of TMS. Quotes: !I am truly SHOCKED!! Name: SAM Species: Robot Series: Sesame Street Description: Ignorant literalist. Tall, bottom-heavy robot with a rubber mouth and a wind-speed sensor somewhere on his body. That!s all I can remember... Quotes: n/a Name: Scooter Species: Unknown (gopher?) Series: The Muppet Show Description: Expediter extraordinaire. The Muppet Show stage manager. Wears a metallic green tech-crew jacket. Has glasses and wooly, red hair. Lines up acts for the show. Efficient kind of guy. Quotes: n/a Name: Snuffy Species: Snuffalupagus Series: Sesame Street Description: Pachyderm with Hormonal Imbalance. More like a mastadon than an elephant, Snuffy used to be a make-believe friend of Big Bird!s, but decided to come out of the closet. He is big, hairy, and has long eye-lashes. He speaks VERY slowly. Quotes: !Oh dear, Big Bird...! Name: Sprocket Species: Dog Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Mutt with two brain cells. Mangy looking grey dog from !outer space!. Infrequently encountered by wandering Fraggles. Not too bright, but likeable. Quotes: !Arooo! Ruf! Ruf! Ruf!! Name: Statler Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Siskel. Official co-heckler of all acts in TMS. An older gentleman with a longish face, hooked nose, and balding head. Associated with Waldorf. Especially enjoyes taunting Fozzie. Quotes: n/a Name: Sully Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Construction worker with laryngitis. Sully is a human-muppet with a red hard hat and a heavy eyebrow that hides his eyes. Silent partner of Biff. Quotes: (Silence) Name: Sweetums Species: Monster Series: The Muppet Show Description: Mouth constitutes 1/3 of body area. Large human-sized muppet with shaggy fur, tattered rags, and big feet and teeth. Not as tough as he looks. Quotes: !Hey! Wait! I wanna go to Hollywood!! Name: Telly Species: Monster Series: Sesame Street Description: Paranoid hypchondriac. Telly is a hopeless pessimist. He believes that everything will go wrong all of the time. He is purplish-red in color with down-sloping eyebrows further adding to his miserable demeanor. A nice guy nonetheless. Quotes: !Oh dear. This is terrible!! Name: The Amazing Mumford Species: Human Series: Sesame Street Description: WC fields or magician? Mumphy performs magical tricks with his assistant Grover. These usually backfire. He once turned Grover into a rabbit-monster. Bald with a small moustache and large, dark cape, Mumphy usually totes a magic wand. Quotes: !A-la-peanut-butter-sandwiches! (POOF!)! Name: The Beetles Species: Beetle Series: Sesame Street Description: The Buggy Invasion. Perform mock-Beatles songs on Sesame Street about alphabet letters. Who can forget !Letter B! and !Thinking of U! Have shiny, beady eyes and straight-cut Beatles hair-do!s. Quotes: n/a Name: The Count Species: Undead Human Series: Sesame Street Description: Gothic accountant Quotes: !10! 10 batty bats! Ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaa! (RUMBLE!)! Name: The Honkers Species: Honker Series: Sesame Street Description: Harpo Marx reincarnated. These short monsters have bicycle horns for ears and a squeeze-bulb for a nose. They come in various colors, but don!t speak. They communicate by pushing their noses, making a honking sound. Quotes: !Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk!! Name: The Swedish Chef Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Cooking with the Unintelligible. This guy wears a white chef apron and hat and has a brown moustache. His hat covers his eyes. He loves to sing and wave dangerous cleavers around. His dishes usually run away. Quotes: !Bork! Bork! Bork!! Name: The Trash Heap Species: Unknown Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Stinky Fraggle guru. The Trash Heap lives in a quiet corner of the Fraggle domain, attended by two snivelling rats. She often wears opera-glasses and speaks with a voice of authority. Fraggles often take her advice as law. Quotes: n/a Name: Tina Species: Snuffalupagus Series: Sesame Street Description: Snuffy!s spoiled little sister. No information available. Quotes: n/a Name: Uncle Deadly Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Reclusive ghoul. Often plays the villain in Wayne/Wanda epics. Short, blue, sinister looking muppet with large snout and black, beady eyes. Quotes: n/a Name: Uncle Travelling Matt Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Dim-witted explorer. Gobo!s uncle Matt is exploring the human domain referred to by Fraggles as !outer space!. He has a white moustache, and wears safari gear. Quotes: n/a Name: Waldorf Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Ebert. Co-heckler of Muppet Show. Usually seen with Statler. Short, bald, with white moustache. Loves to heckle Fozzie. Has a wife, Astoria. Quotes: !You liked that?! Wha...!! Name: Wanda Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Soap opera villain-fodder. Wanda is often the damsel in distress in the Wayne/Wanda epics. Often seen hanging off of cliffs or tied up on train tracks. Has auburn hair. Quotes: n/a Name: Wayne Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Multi-talented soap star. Easily distracted hero of Wayne/Wanda epics. Often forgets about Wanda in peril to chat with the villain about dance steps and scout knots. Plain looking fellow with brown hair and ruffle-sleeved-shirts. Quotes: !No! No! The rabbit goes around the tree TWICE, and then goes into his hole!! Name: Wembley Species: Fraggle Series: Fraggle Rock Description: Paranoid and Neurotic. Wembley is a yellow, large nosed little fellow with yellow hair and a radish-print shirt. Worries continually, and about everything. Close freend of Gobo and Boober. Quotes: n/a Name: Zoot Species: Human Series: The Muppet Show Description: Very mellow sax fellow. Zoot is the Electric Meyhem!s saxophone player. He!s a quiet blue guy with shades and a wide-brimmed hat. His voice is soft and !blue-sy!. Quotes: n/a I hope you liked it! Please, send more info to me! ______ _ ________________________________________________________ /____//\ //\ | Shane CG Hudson, Programmer/Analyst, City of Moncton | //___//_/// / | | /___ /___ / / | "Mild-mannered programmer/analyst by day, unconscious, | _\__///\_// / | mild-mannered programmer/analyst by night..." - Me | /____// /// / | | \____\\/ \\/ | "Me like Hamlet. Him prince of Denmark. That make | _______________/ him Danish. Me LOVE danish!" - Alistair Cookie | | INTP's rule! | | Well, they fantasize about it anyway... | -------------------------------------------------------------------------