The Canonical List of Oxymorons =============================== Last update:143 Aug 1996 Availability: http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks/pub/lists/oxymorons By email is you ask nicely. Feedback: Submissions, comments, requests: dmacks@netspace.org Flames: /dev/null@[127.0.0.1] "Anarchy rules!" "Buy now and save" "Free with purchase" "Happy Monday" "I have what I'm looking for" "Never generalize" "One size fits all" "Road Works Ahead" "Save up to 50% and more" "Slow children" (sign with a picture of a running child) "Thank God I'm an Atheist" "This page intentionally left blank" 10K fun run 12-ounce pound cake 6502-based computer A little big Above it all Academic sorority Accordion music Accurate stereotype Act naturally Advanced BASIC Aerobic exercise Affirmative action, equal opportunity Affordable housing Aging yuppie Airline food Airline legroom Almost exactly Alone together American English American Honda American beer American chop suey American culture American education American geographers American history Americans Amtrak schedule Appeared invisible Apple tech support Arms limitation Army intelligence Art student Artificial intelligence Assisted suicide Athletic scholarship Australian spelling Automated data processing Awfully good Awfully pretty Back to the future Bad health Balding hair Bankrupt millionaire Beginning Finnish Better than new Bittersweet Black light Boring orgasm Brave politician Brief wait British fashion Budget deficit Bug free code Business ethics Butthead CNN style Cafeteria food California culture California expressway Canadian culture Canadian identity Casual intimacy Catproof Central Intelligence Agency Centrally-planned economy Cheerful pessimist Childproof Christian education Christian militia christian nation Christian Scientists Church of Scientology Civil engineer Civil libertarian Civil servant Civil war Classic rock & roll Clean dirt Clean hack Clearly confused Clearly misunderstood Clearly vague Climb down Clinton leadership Clouded reflection Coca-Cola Foods Coed fraternity/sorority Collective liberty College algebra College education Colored music Committee decision Committee schedule Common sense Commonwealth Communist Party Competitive pressure Completely unfinished Comprehensive medical benefits Compulsory volunteering Computer jock Computer science Computer security Concerned Canadian Congressional action Congressional ethics Congressional hearing Congressional oversight Conservative Democrat Conspicuous absence Constant change Construction worker Convenience store Conventional wisdom Cooperative multitasking Corporate planning Cost effective Country music Courtesy towing Creation science Creative uniforms Cruel kindness Cultural diversity Curved line Customer appreciation Customer satisfaction Cybersex DOS operating system Deafening silence Debugged program Debutante ball Decent lawyer Definite maybe Deafening quiet Deafening silence Degradable plastic Democratic Congress Department of the Interior Desktop publishing Diet ice cream Dining hall food Disco music Dogfood connisseur Down escalator/elevator Dress pants Driving pleasure Dry beer Dry ice Dry wine Economic reform Edible fruitcake Electroshock therapy Employee benefits English syntax Enquiring minds Environmentalist bumper sticker Ergonomic keyboard European Community Evolutionary fact Exact estimate Executive decision Express bus Express mail Fair reporting Fair trial Fallout shelter Family entertainment Fast food Federal budget Feeling numb Fighting for peace Final version Finally begun First annual First-strike defense Flat-busted Flexible freeze Football scholarship Forth programming language Found missing Free agent Free coupons Free election Free electron laser Free love Free lunch Free rent Free trade Freezer burn French culture Fresh frozen Fried ice cream Friendly advice Friendly competitor Friendly fire Full service Full-length bikini Functional manager Funny clean joke Fuzzy logic Gay drill sergeant Gentle laxative Genuine imitation Good Alan Rudolph film Good grief Good mother-in-law Government aid/assistance Government efficiency Government integrity Government organization Graduate student Great Britain Ground steak Grow shorter Grow smaller Guest host Gunboat diplomacy Half complete Half dead Happily married Hard disk Hard water Hazardous waste disposal Helicopter flight Higher education Holy Roman Empire Holy War Home office Honest crook Honest lawyer Honest politician Hot chile House Ethics Committee Huge market niche Human evolution Humble politician IBM compatible Indecent exposure Industrial park Innovative uniforms Institutional Revolutionary Party Intelligent lifeforms Internal Revenue Service Journalistic accuracy Journalistic integrity Jumbo shrimp Just in Time (JIT) Justice Rehnquist Justice Thomas Kentucky Fried Chicken Kosher ham Lace-up loafers Layoff protection Lebanese government Legal brief Legal ethics Legally drunk Liberal Party (conservative) Liberal, Kansas Libertarian organization Likewise unique Limited success Liquid crystal Literal interpretation Little bigger Little fat Living dead Living in Buffalo Long Island Expressway Male compassion Managed healthcare Management action Management award Management science Management style Management support Management systems Marijuana initiative Marketing strategy Married life Martial law Math teacher Mature student McDonalds dinner Meatless hamburger Medicaid payment Medical ethics Metal woods (golf clubs) Microsoft Works Middle East peace process Mighty weak Militart justice Military intelligence Military peace Minor surgery Modified final judgement Moldy cheese Monopoly Moral Majority More equal Mournful optimist Mutual attraction Mutually exclusive Necessary meeting New Classic New Democrat New Mexico Nice cat Noble savage Non-alcoholic beer Non-denominational church Nonworking mother Now, then Nuclear defense Objective parent Oddly appropriate O.J. Simpson trial Open government OpenVMS Operating system Operation Rescue Original dubs/duplicates Pacific Ocean Painless dentist Paperless office Partly pregnant Passive aggression Past presents Peace force Peace officer PeaceMaker missile People's Democratic Republic Of Yemen Personal ad Personal computer Petty cash Philosophy science Plastic glasses Plastic silverware Pocket calculator Police protection Polite cabbie Political ethics Political leadership Political reality Political science Politically correct Poor Republican Pop art Portable standard Lisp Postal Service Pot luck Practical logic Precision bombing Presidential promises Pretty ugly Private e-mail Productivity committee Professional courtesy Professional wrestling Progressive Conservative Proprietary standard Psychiatric care Public school education Quality assurance Quality management Quality service Quebec intellectual Questions & answers Quick fix Quick reboot QuickBASIC R & D Rap music Rapid transit Rare steak Reagan memoirs Real fantasy Real fake Realistic schedule Realtime computing Reasonable female Recently new Reckless caution Recorder music Red Indians Relativistic correction Religious education Religious fact Religious science Religious tolerance Republican initiative Resident alien Responsible committee Restrained grandparent Rock music Rolling stop Rush hour Russian economy Safe sex Sales & service Same difference Sanitary landfill Sanitary sewer Satisfied Democrat Saving price Savings & loan School food School vacation Scottish Danish (actual pastry sold at 7-11) Second best Secret Service Sedate sex Semi truck Semi-boneless ham Senate Ethics Committee Sensitive male Severely/slightly killed Short volume Silent scream Slave owner Slows quickly Small crowd Smart bomb Smart drugs Social Security Social science Socialist Worker Soft rock Software documentation Software engineering Solid glass Southern justice Sovereignty Association Spare rib Speed limit Sport wagon Sports sedan Stealth bomber Straight hook Standard deviation Student athlete Student organization Student teacher Suburban culture Summer school Supporting documentation Sustainable development Sweet onions Sweet sorrow Swiss Steak Synthetic natural gas Tame cat Taped live Tax return Team work Television critic Temporary tax increase Terminal initialization Terribly funny Terribly pleased Thunderous silence Tight slacks Toll freeway Tone color Total Quality Management (TQM) Touch of diahrea Tropical depression True gossip True story Unbiased journalism Unbiased news reports Unbiased opinion Unbiased predisposition Uncontested divorce Understanding Unix Understanding banker Union craftsman Union labor Union workers United States University of Nevada at Las Vegas Unix prompt Unix security Unsalted Saltines Unthaw Urban planning User friendliness User-friendly war Vegetable beef soup Ventura Freeway Violent agreement Virtual reality Voting power Waiting patiently War games War hero Welcome Tax White America Wilderness management Windows NT (New Technology) Wise fool Wonder Bread Wooden nickel Woods Metal Working vacation Worldly Americans Young Floridian Yummy Yogurt Yummy sushi _Socialist_Worker_