"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"Artist seeks Boss with vision impairment."
"Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "Will a 2X4 do, Captain?"
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C: mean?"
"Happiness is a warm puppy", said the anaconda.
"Nietzsche is dead." --God.
'I like it better in the dark' - Anonymous
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(Your message in this space--call 2-6000 and ask to call four-oh)
10  GOTO 10
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
2 rules to success in life. 1. Don't tell people everything you know.
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582...
<-------- The information went data way --------
? :== 2B | ^2B
A Shower is the halfway point between Bed and World.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
A beautiful woman will enrich your life soon.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A born loser is a door to door salesman who goes only to vacant houses.
A bridegroom is a guy who has lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A dog on the run can safely be kicked.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A gift of flower will soon be made to you.
A good boss is someone who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A halt on the journey, a rest, a drink from the well, and the caravan moves on a
A handful of bees is worth more than a sackful of flies.
A king's castle is his home.
A large dog will have a surprising effect on your life.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A man in passion rides a mad horse.
A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man without a fish is like a religion without a bicycle.
A man's horse sense deserts him when he's feeling his oats.
A narrow mind has a broad tongue.
A narrow place is cavernous to the narrow minded.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act them out.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
A practical nurse is one who falls in love with a wealthy patient.
A preposition is what you should not end a sentence with.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A race track is the only place to find windows that clean people.
A real Christian is the person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.
A real loser is one who moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the we
A rolling stone never boils.
A small date stump props up the water jar.
A smile is a curve that can set a whole lot of things straight.
A smile is a powerful weapon--you can even break ice with it.
A smile is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it in one spot.
A smooth lie is better than a distorted truth.
A sponge to wipe out the past, a rose to make the present sweet, and a kiss to s
A strainer is none the worse for having another hole.
A town's gate can be shut, a fool's mouth, never.
A true friend sees you make a fool of yourself and knows it's not permanent.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
A watched pot gathers no moss.
A well-known friend is a treasure.
A wise man is one who has a great deal to say, and remains silent.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Ability is nearly always accompanied by humility.
Abstention makes the heart grow fonder.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Accidents will happen, it's only thick and thin.
Actual TorStar headline, 3/6/94: "Man charged with murder after death"
Actual newspaper headline, 1/17/77: "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
Actual newspaper headline, 8/14/80: "Food Basic to Student Diet"
Actual newspaper headline: "Deafmute complains 911 didn't answer"
Actual newspaper headline: "TEENAGE PROSTITUTES SPREADING NATIONWIDE"
Advancement in position.
After all is said and done, usually more is said.
Ahah!
Ahead warp factor one, Mr. Sulu.
Alcoholic: Someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
All art is but imitation of nature.
All art is quite useless.
All computers wait at the same speed.
All great discoveries are made by accident.
All hell has broken loose.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
All is well that ends well.
All laws are basically false.
All looks yellow to jaundiced eye.
All machines are amplifiers.
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the sadness.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All trends towards Chaos.
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Allah gives dried beans to eat to him who has no teeth left.
Allah may love a poor man, but not a dirty one.
Always cut the cards.
Amoebit: Amoeba/rabbit cross; it can multiply and divide at the same time.
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
An attitude of gratitude is a never-ending prayer.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An egg cannot break a stone.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
And now for something completely different.
And the owner's a mental midget/With the IQ of a fencepost..
And they're off!
Angels bend down their wings to a seeker of knowledge.
Animals/people: you can pet 99% of animals and still get a G rating.
Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
Any man who can see through women is sure missing a lot.
Any shrine is better than self-worship.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.
Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?
Are we not men?
Are you a turtle?
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As goatheard learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
As the sands of the desert are to the weary traveler, so is too much speach to h
As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
Avocadoes are 35 cents here, eat your heart out.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
Badness comes in waves.
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
Be alert, the world needs more lerts.
Be careful how you get yourself involved with persons or situations that can't b
Be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Be happy with the real pleasures in life.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be seeing you.
Beam me up, Scotty.
Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Beauty seldom recommends one to another.
Because the wine remembers.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beggars should be no choosers.
Being natural is simply a pose.
Being popular is important. Otherwise people might not like you.
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Better a handful of dried dates and content with that than to own the gate of pe
Better late than never.
Better the gurgling of a camel than the prayers of a fish.
Beware of Bigfoot!
Beware of Geeks bearing grifts.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
Beware of geeks bearing graft.
Beware of low flying butterflies.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware the thirty-first of November.
Big book, big bore.
Biting off more than you can chew is a proven way to cut some wisdom teeth.
Biz is better.
Blah.
Boredom reigns.
Borg Starter Kit: some assimilation required.
Borg-Cola: Not the choice of the next generation.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Build a bridge out of her!
But I don't like Spam!
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN\DOS\RUN
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
Cape Ilium, Fracturor!
Captain's Log, star date 21:34.5.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
Celibacy is hereditary.
Chicken Little was right.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Choconiverous: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
Clinicians make better lovers.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
College:  The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.
Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
Computer--A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Confucious say: 'I have no time for monks resisting the carnival'
Confucius say too much. -- recent Chinese proverb
Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!
Congratulations! The pressure will stop soon.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Consider what might be fertilizing the greener grass across the fence.
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
Courage is your greatest present need.
Courage: Two cannibals having oral sex.
Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
DMKSMR132I 08-78 SURCHARGE REQUEST ACKNOWLEDGED : + 50%
DON'T BYTE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN MULTIPLEX.
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Dain bramaged.
Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold.
De-accession euphemisms.
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
Death is the one experience that we cannot put in perspective afterwards.
Decisions terminate panic.
Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
Dei Sub Numine Widget
Democracy is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.  -- H. L. Mencken
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
Department of Redundancy Department
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Diamonds may be hard to steal, but they're easy to hide.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!' until you can find a rock.
Diplomacy:  Saying "go to hell" such that they look forward to the trip.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Disk crisis, please clean up!
Do not be deceived by the whiteness of the turban. Soap is bought on credit.
Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
Do not lend money to a fiend.
Do not shoot a glass arrow into a painted deer.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do witches run spell checkers?
Do ya think I'm sexy?
Do you know Montana?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Doing gets it done.
Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
Don't I know you?
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Don't complain about what you don't have--just be happy you don't get what you ask for.
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Don't discourage the other person's plan unless you have a better one.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't everyone thank me at once.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't force it; use a hammer.
Don't get stuck in a closet; wear yourself out.
Don't learn the tricks of the trade--learn the trade.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Don't look now, but your car was just towed!
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
Don't sweat it, it's only ones and zeros.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't vote--it only encourages them!
Don't you ever do any work?
Double!
Draft the whales!
Drop that pickle!
Due to a mixup in Urology, orange juice will not be served this morning.
E Pluribus Modem
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Earth is 98% full...  please delete anyone you can.
Easy Street is a blind alley.
Economy makes men independent.
Education is what you get from reading the small print--experience is why you look for the small print.
Egotism:  Doing a crossword puzzle with a pen.
Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.  -- last words of Groucho Marx
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.  -- last words of Oscar Wilde
Elbonics:  Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Electricity comes from electrons; morality comes from morons.
Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
Eureka!
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up off your seat and open the door
Ever shoot an elephant in your pajamas?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
Every knot has an unraveller in Allah.
Every man thinks of his own fleas as gazelles.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
Every purchase has its price.
Every rose has a thorn as its friend.
Every sheep hangs by his own leg.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every vibration awakens all others of its particular pitch.
Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since no one listens.
Everybody ought to have a friend.
Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.  -- Atwood
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
Everyone is expendable and no one has a real friend.
Everyone ought to have a maid.
Everyone who got where he is had to start from where he was.
Everything goes wrong at once.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Everything you know is wrong.
Everything's coming up roses.
Excreto ergo sum.
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
Experience is a wonderful thing--it enables you to recognize a mistake every time you make it.
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Extreme good-naturedness borders on weakness of character. Avoid it.
Fabricati Diem, Pvnc!
Facts are lazy and facts are late.
Failure is the path of least persistence.
Familiarity breeds children.
Fancy gizmos don't work.
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
Fashion:  A form of ugliness so intolerable that it changes every six months.
Fast, Cheap, Good:  Choose any two.
Few desires, happy life.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Flee at once, all is discovered.
For a good time, call 452-6089.
For he who builds his casbah out of halvah, beware the nibblers.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
For some good grease call 921-7723. (Hoagie Haven)
For the sake of one rose, the gardener becomes the servant of a thousand swords.
Four out of the five dentists I surveyed recommended root canals for patients.
Function reject.
Genderplex: Trying to determine from the cutesy pictures which restroom to use.
Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
Genetics:  Why you look like your father, or if you don't, why you should.
Gentleman:  Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Get out the Crisco.
Ghosts can't rule. You'd never get the crown to stay on.
Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it.
Give him an evasive answer.
Give me all your lupins!
Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.  -- St. Augustine
Give up.
Given my druthers, I'd druther not.
Go away.
Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
God does not play dice.
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
God never imposes a duty upon us without giving us time and strength to perform it.
God never misses an opportunity--if the door is open he will come in.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Gossip: letting the chat out of the bag.
Grasshoppotamus:  A creature that can leap to tremendous heights...  once.
Great minds run in great circles.
Had there been an actual emergency, you would no longer be here.
Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.  He was rather large.
Happy feast of the pig.
Happy, Happy! Joy, joy!
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Haste maketh waste.
Have faith, though it be only in a stone, and you will recover.
Have you ever noticed that people who do things get most of their criticism from those who do nothing?
Have you flogged your crew today?
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
He attacked me with a banana!
He has the heart of a little child...  it's in a jar on his desk.
He is a good story teller who can turn his ears into eyes.
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
He slipped and fell on his own dagger in self-defense.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
He who drives an ass must of necessity know its wind.
He who eats when he is full digs his grave with his teeth.
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who has burned his mouth with milk blows on ice cream.
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who houses a camel must make his door higher.
He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
He who is a mocker dances without a tambourine.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
He who reads many fortunes gets confused.
He who sleeps in a marsh wakes up cousin to the frogs.
He who slings mud loses ground.
He who speaks the truth better have one foot in the stirrup.
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
He who touches honey is compelled to lick his fingers.
He's dead, Jim.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
Hearts are the depositories of secrets, lips are their locks and tongues are the keys.
Hell's broken loose.
Help Wanted: Telepath.  You know where to apply.
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
Help! I'm modeming...and I can't hang up!!!
Help! I'm trapped inside an Amdahl 470!
Hey Santa, how much is it for the list of naughty girls?
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.
Hit any user to continue.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Honeymoon:  A short period of doting between dating and debting.  -- Ray Bandy
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Hospitality:  Making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were.
How about a little fire, scarecrow?
How apt the poor are to be proud.
How come we never talk anymore?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
How people play the game shows something of their character--how they lose shows even more.
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
How you look depends on where you go.
However high the eye may rise, it will find the eyebrow above it.
I ain't too tired, but I feel like lyin' down...
I am Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be.
I am a man--nothing human is alien to me.
I am looking for an honest man.
I am more bored than you could ever possibly be. Go back to work.
I am not a crook.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today.
I am prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
I can relate to that.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.  -- the Wizard of Oz
I do a lot of thinking in the john. Says a lot for my thoughts.
I do desire we may be better strangers.
I don't get no respect.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't understand you anymore.
I dote on his very absence.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
I enjoy the time that we spend together.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it.  -- Groucho Marx
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I like it better in the dark.
I love treason but hate a traitor.
I may not be the world's greatest lover, but number seven's not bad.  -- Allen
I must have slipped a disk--my pack hurts.
I never did it that way before.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.  -- Marx
I never had anything and now that's gone.
I never made a mistake in my life.  I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.....
I spilled spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.  -- Steve Wright
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
I think we're in trouble.
I think, therefore I am paid.
I think, therefore I am. I think.
I used to be sane. I got better.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I want to die in my sleep like my father, not screaming like his passengers.
I will make you shorter by the head.
I will never lie to you.
I will not forget you.
I wish they all could be California girls!
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I would like to help you out.  Which way did you come in?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
I'll burn my books.
I'll never get off this planet.
I'll procrastinate...tomorrow.
I'll turn over a new leaf.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.
I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
I'm not quite dead yet...
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that right now.
I've been there.
I've come for an argument!
I've got a very bad feeling about this.
I've only got twelve cards.
Ideas are much like children--your own are wonderful.
If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.
If I had finished this sentence.  -- Hofstadter
If I listen, I have the advantage. If I speak, the others have it.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.
If You Pass This Point You Will Most Certainly Die.  -- sign on birth canal
If a man said to you, "A dog carried away your ear," would you go after the dog,
If all the world's a stage, who sprung the trap door on me?
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
If fate throws a knife at you, there are two ways of catching it: by the blade,
If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
If in doubt, mumble.
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
If it wasn't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.
If morons could fly, the sky would be pitch black.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If only Bicycle Repair Man was here!
If the king, at noonday, says it is night, behold the stars.
If the light serves to see, it also serves to be seen.
If the prayers of dogs were answered, bones would rain from the sky.
If there is light at the end of the tunnel...  ORDER MORE TUNNEL.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?  -- Art Hoppe
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in?
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for
If you are an anvil you will suffer like an anvil. If you are a hammer you will
If you are horny, it's lust, but if your partner's horny, it's affection.
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
If you can't get them to listen to you any other way, tell them it's confidential.
If you can't say anything nice, you probably don't have many friends.
If you insist upon telling the truth you had better make it funny or people will
If you look like your passport photo you need the trip.
If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
If you make yourself honey, the flies will eat you.
If you see him riding on a bamboo cane, say to him, "Good health to your horse."
If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
If you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first.
If you think you can drive a bargain--buy a second hand car.
If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
If you're not afraid to face the music you may some day lead the band.
If your palm itches, it's a sign that you're going to get something--if your he 
If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
Ignore that man behind the curtains.
Illegitimus non Carborundem -- "Don't let the bastards grind you down".
Illiterate?  Write for free help.
In an underdeveloped country don't drink the water; in a developed country don't
In base 13, 6 times 9 is 42.
In the desert one forgets everything; one remembers nothing anymore.
Instant sex will never be better than the kind you have to peel and cook.
Into a closed mouth no fly can enter.
Is this finger message pointless, and if so, why?
It all started in a small 5000-watt radio station in Peoria.
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose -- until you lose.
It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.  -- Andrew Mathis
It is better to be a has been then one who never was.
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.
It is better to try and fail than to do nothing and succeed.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is difficult to believe that someone can differ from us and be right.
It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
It is easy to carry on war with a spyglass.
It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide.
It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.  -- Phil White
It is said the tongue has no bone, yet it crushes.
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
It isn't work unless you'd rather be doing something else.
It may be those who do most, dream most.
It seemed a little odd when the local cemetery raised the prices of its burial l
It won't work.
It works better if you plug it in.
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
It'll be just like Beggars Canyon back home
It's a Man's Life Taking Your Clothes Off in Public
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's full of stars!
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys.
It's later than you think.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's not whether you win or lose. It's whether *I* win or lose.
It's proper to be proper.
It's smart to pick your friends--but not to pieces.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
JCL is for lovers.
Just because things are obvious doesn't mean they're true.
Just to have it is enough.
Keep stress out of your life.  Give it to others instead.
Kilroy occupied these spatial coordinates.
Kindness can pluck the hairs out of a lion's mustache.
Kiss a clinician today!
Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.
Kix are for trids.
Klaatu barada nikto.
Knocked; you weren't in.  -- Opportunity
Knowledge is power.
Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
Laugh when you can; cry when you must.
Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
Law stands mute in the midst of arms.
Lawyers are the only people who can write a 10,000 word document and call it a b
Lead me not into temptation.  I can find it myself.
Lead on, MacDuff!
Leave no stone unturned.
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let me take you a buttonhole lower.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let us sit bent, but talk straight.
Let's hope God grades on a curve.
Life is a perpetual drunkeness. The pleasure passes, but the headache remains.
Life is just a bowl.
Life is like a fountain...  I will tell you how when I figure it out.
Life is like an analogy.
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Live in the past and future only.
Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells AWFUL. --J. Handey
Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
Lonely is a man without love.
Long distance is the next best thing to being there.
Look behind you, Gigi.
Look ere ye leap.
Look out for #1.  Don't step in #2 either.
Look under the sofa cushion; you will be surprised at what you find.
Look, Muth tracks!
Look, sir! 'droids!
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
Love is sentimental measles.
Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness.
Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.
Love means nothing to a tennis player.
Love thy neighbor. Tune thy piano.
Love your enemies.  It will make them crazy.
Love, pregnancy, and riding upon a camel cannot be hid.
Love:  The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
MAY A MOODY BABY DOOM A YAM.
MSG FROM OUTER SPACE: BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!!!
Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
Magnocartic:  An automobile that when left unattended attracts shopping carts.
Make a firm decision now...  you can always change it later.
Make a wish, it might come true.
Make money fast: don't give it any food.
Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler. --Einstein
Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.
Man who builds house of rock gets stone--walled.
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Manage with bread and butter 'til god brings the jam.
Mankind...  infests the whole habitable Earth and Canada.  -- Ambrose Bierce
Many a live wire would be a dead one if it were not for its connections.
Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
Many hands make light work.
Many pages make a crowded castle.
Many pages make a thick book.
Mary had a little.
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
May Allah protect me from my friends; my enemies I can handle.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
May you live in uninteresting times.
Maybe you can't buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge it.
Meditation is not what you think.
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Michelangelo would have made better time with a roller.
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casa
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
Miracles are great, but they are so damned unpredictable.
Misfortune.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
Mother a weed, father a weed. Do you expect the daughter to be a saffron root?
Mr. Emmanuele, Mr. Emmanuele, please call four-oh.
Mrs. Rowe, Mrs. Rowe, please call four-owe
Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.
Mum's the word.
Mumble.
Murphy was an optimist.
Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.
Must I hold a candle to my shames?
My Ford Fiesta floats OK, it's in the garage, not in the bay
My God! What have I done?
My brain hurts!
My finger mesage contains two errors.
My finger message claims to be false, but is lying.
My finger message is misleading.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
My python boots were too tight.
My shoes are on top of the world...
My shoes have never done this kind of thing before.
My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.
Nanu nanu!
Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Nearly anyone can stand adversity, but if you want to test someone's character,
Necessity has no law.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Neestiko arkoudi dhen horevee.
Never argue with your doctor--he has inside information.
Never eat prunes when you're famished.
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist.
Never play with Doctor Tom.
Never promise more than you can perform.
Never throw a bird at a dragon.
Never turn your back on a frog.
Never, never, never *MOON* a werewolf.
Next Wednesday you will be presented with a great opportunity.
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please.
Nice guys don't finish.
Nice guys get sick.
Nihilism doesn't exist.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
No amount of cash is ever petty.
No experiment is reproducible.
No it isn't!
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
No one becomes depraved in a moment.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.
No prizes for predicting rain.  Prizes only awarded for building arks.
No question is so difficult as that to which the answer is obvious.
No way. Nope. Forget it. Un-uh. Negatory. Not a chance. No. Not in a million yea
Nobody ever goes there, it's too crowded. (I've actually HEARD this!)
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Nothing endures but change.
Nothing ever goes away.
Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is but what is not.
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when your're
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
Nothing will ever happen to you.
Nourish a waif and it will pick out your eyes.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Occasionally you meet a person who thinks he's all seven wonders of the world.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
Of course the game is rigged; but if you don't play, you can't win.
Often, the best way of giving oneself what one lacks is to take from oneself wha
Oh destiny, it pleases you to caress a few and molest others.
Old age is the harbor of all ills.
Old firemen never die--they just go to blazes.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On the other hand...  you have different fingers.
One can not hold two watermelon in one hand.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
One good turn usually gets most of the blanket.
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.
One of the best automobile insurance policies is a Sunday afternoon nap.
One reason so many folks never get to the top is that they never start from the
One reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.
One thing in favor of a polka dot tie is that one more spot doesn't matter.
One who is too old to learn was probably always too old to learn.
One who weeps when sowing shall laugh when reaping.
One within us sets the alarm clock at night, and in the morning another within u
Only a fool has no doubts.
Only fools are quoted.
Open up your door to a good day and prepare yourself for a bad one.
Oregonians don't tan, they rust.
Overweight is something that sort of snacks up on you.
Palindrome isn't one.
Parsley is gharsley.
Patch griefs with proverbs.
Patience, my friend, is the key of paradise.
Pause for storage relocation.
Peace, Love, and Prosperity !
People usually get what's coming to them...  unless it was mailed.
People who are grateful are usually good.
People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Positive:  Being mistaken at the top of your voice.
Practice yourself what you preach.
Praise the sea; on shore remain.
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Press <CTRL-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Proctologist:  A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Pronounce your prepositions, damn it!
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prototype designs always work.
Pssst. The root password is 'kumquat.'
Pull yourself together; things are not all that bad.
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Put people on hold when possible.
Put your dates in the honey pot, but don't sink it afterwards in the mud of the
Put your trust in those who are worthy.
Quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more.
Quit looking at fortunes and get back to work!
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Rank has its privileges.
Raving beauty: the girl who finished second in a beauty contest.
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES!
Read your Amdahl Business Practices.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is for those too stupid to program holodecks.
Reality--what a concept!
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
Remember that "average" is simply the best of the poorest and the poorest of the
Remember the Alamo.
Remember to say hello to your bank teller.
Resist everything but temptation.
Retribution will be yours.
Riches cover a multitude of woes.
Rome was not built in one day.
Rumor writes faster than truth can erase.
Rumper sticker on a horse:  "Get off my tail, because shit happens."
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
SQRT(3) = 2      (for large values of 3)
SWAP READ ERROR.  You lose your mind.
SYSTEM CHECKPOINT COMPLETE.
SYSTEM RESTARTING, WAIT.
Satire is what closes in New Haven.
Save gas, don't eat beans.
Save the Rainforest! Eat a vegetarian!
Save the whales! Collect the whole set!
Say the secret woid and the duck is yours.
Sculpture: mud pies that endure.
Sears has everything.
Sell short.
Set the cart before the horse.
She puts the mascara on the eye of the storm...
Sheep are best!
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Short circuits got no reason to live.
Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
Show your appreciation for your lover by suprising him/her with a small gift.
Shower the people you love with your love.
Shower with the people you love.
Sight is a faculty; seeing is an art.
Sign in a department store: "Make this a Christmas you won't forget--charge everything."
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "OUT TO LUNCH--THINK IT OVER."
Sign in an antique shop: "Come in and buy what your grandmother threw away."
Sign in restaurant: "This work is coming to pizzas".
Sign on a garbage truck: our business is picking up.
Sign on a landscape truck: "We just keep rolling a lawn".
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
Sign seen on door:  C  I  T  Y   P  L  A  N  N  ING 
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
Small things make base men proud.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Smile! You're on Candid Camera.
Smile, tomorrow will be worse.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.  -- Fletcher Knebel
So eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow it will cost more.
Some call me....Tim?
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
Some people know how to live everybody else's life but their own.
Some people pay so much attention to their reputation that they lose character.
Some people think they are generous because they give away free advice.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
Someone close to you is taking advantage of your trust.
Someone is speaking well of you.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Someone will try to honk your nose today.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  -- Sigmund Freud
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Sorry. Nice try.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
State Farm? Guard dogs?
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.
Step right up....
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
Strike while the iron is hot.
TANSTAAFL.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Tact is rubbing out another's mistake instead of rubbing it in.
Tact is the art of telling people to go to hell and at the same time making them
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Talkers are no good doers.
Temper is what gets most of us into trouble--pride is what keeps us there.
Ten dervishes can sleep under one blanket, but two kings can not find room in on
That that is is not that that is not.
That was Zen; this is Tao.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
That's core for the parse.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
The adverb always follows the verb.
The air of heaven is that which blows between the horse's ears.
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
The barking of dogs does not affect the clouds.
The bear knew nine songs. All were on honey.
The beard of the guest is in the hand of the owner of the house.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The best fighting is against yourself.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The better part of valor is discretion.
The bigger the theory, the better.
The biggest nuts are those which are empty.
The bozos are coming.
The camel driver has his plans, and the camel has his.
The camel never sees its own hump, but that of its brothers is always before its
The candle is put into the lantern and the moth is left outside fluttering.
The coast was clear.
The cynic says: the pessimist is a realist who isn't afraid to admit it.
The dawn does not come twice to awake a man.
The day has its eyes, the night has its ears.
The devil takes one and makes two. A saint takes two and makes one.
The die is cast.
The dog that trots about finds a bone.
The dogs may bark, but the caravan passes on.
The dung hill must make itself smelt before we can breathe the perfume of the fl
The early worm gets the bird.
The first piece of luggage out of the chute does not belong to anyone, ever.
The fish in the trap begin to think.
The future lies ahead.
The glass is half full--and what's in it has gone rancid.
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
The hand that you cannot bite, kiss.
The heart is wiser than the intellect.
The heart of the fool is in his mouth. The mouth of the wise man is in his hear
The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
The main problem with old age is that you don't grow out of it.
The man who carries a water skin with holes in it, finds it leaks down his back.
The man who wears his pants out before his shoes makes contact in the wrong plac
The moon looks on many flowers; the flowers see but one moon.
The moon shines in the absence of the sun. Do not strike a rail with your fist
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
The most valuable gift you can give another is a good example.
The most wonderful thing in the world is the success of a fool and the failure o
The name is Baud...James Baud.
The next six days are dangerous.
The nice thing about modern music is if the musicians make a mistake it doesn't
The night was as black as the inside of a cat.
The nose knows.
The number watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
The one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
The only cure for love is marriage.
The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in the way y
The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
The palm of one's hand does not eclipse the sun.
The person who is a good sport has to lose to prove it.
The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
The priest who passes the potato chips in the monastery is known as a chipmunk.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The real test in golf and in life is not keeping out of the rough, but in gettin
The reason that worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than
The secret of success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you have it made.
The simplest pleasures in life are free
The sweetest honey doesn't come from a bee....
The things in life you can't forget are the ones you hadn't planned for.
The things most people want to know are usually none of their business.
The time is right to make new friends.
The trick is to be nice to people until you're rich--then people will be nice to you.
The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
The trouble with burning the candle at both ends is that you always get caught i
The trouble with people who talk too fast is that they often say something they
The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The universe is sacred. You cannot improve it. If you try to change it you wil
The upkeep of woman is the downfall of man.
The victories of yesterday are less important than the plans for tomorrow.
The vodka is good, but the meat is rotten.
The weather on the West Coast is especially nice this time of century.
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
The world does not require so much to be informed as to be reminded.
The world's coming to an end. Log off and leave in an orderly fashion.
The worst form of failure is the failure to try.
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
There are no giant crabs in here, Frank.
There are two sides to every question, and if you want to be popular, you'll tak
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
There cannot be two stallions in the same small stall of camels.
There is a bear following you around.
There is a vas deferens between men and women.
There is always a way, but usually it doesn't work.
There is danger in delaying, good fortune in acting.
There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
There is no idea so stupid that some professor doesn't believe in it.
There is no indigestion worse than that which comes from having to eat your own
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
There's not enough sax and violins on television.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...  -- last words of General Sedgwick
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They never knew what real happiness was until they got married--then it was too late.
They say a book is like a garden tied in the pocket.
They talk most who have least to say.
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. --Gerald Ford.
Think of the going out before you enter.
This fortune claims to be false, but is lying.
This fortune contains two erors.
This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.
This is not a working fortune cookie. Please hang up and try again.
This sentence contradicts itself: no, wait, actually it doesn't.
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Those who sup with the Devil must have a very long spoon.
Three things cause sorrow to flee: water, green trees, and a beautiful face.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students.
To attract a vegetarian, make a noise like a wounded vegetable.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the comp
To err is human.  To admit it is a blunder.
To err is human.  To blame someone else for your errors is even more human.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
To suspect a friend is better than to be deceived by him.
To the dog who has money, men say: "My lord dog."
To the donkey, one thistle is better than two ass-loads of jewels.
Today is a bad day to give to charity.
Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Tolerance these days often gets the credit that belongs to tranquilizers.
Too many people work themselves into a lather with soft soap.
Too much of the world is run on the theory that you don't need road manners if y
Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
True happiness will be found only in true love.
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel first.
Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
Two of the best known finishes for automobiles are lacquer and liquor.
Two things are bad for the heart--running upstairs and running down people.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
Unable to open LEVI.ZIP. Continue running TAKELEAK.EXE? (Y/N)
Unauthorized fornication with this equipment is disallowed.
Under capitalism, man exploits man.  Under communism, it is just the opposite.
Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain.
Unhappy is the man who has no nails with which to scratch his head.
United flies more widebody non-stops to San Francisco from New York than any oth
Use California semiconductors in your next product. They're fresh and delicious
Vacation in beautiful California!  (Presented by the California Tourism Board)
Volcano:  A mountain with hiccups.
Vote anarchist.
We didn't all come over on the same ship but we're all in the same boat.
We have come from somewhere and are going somewhere--the great architect of the
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
What a waste it is to lose ones mind.
What good are notebooks? They won't help us survive.
What has four legs and an arm?  A happy pit bull.
What if there were no hypothetical situations? --Andrew Kohlsmith
What is mind?  No matter.  What is matter?  Never mind.  -- Thomas Key
What this country needs is more leaders who know what this country needs.
What you have put into your kettle comes afterwards into your spoon.
When a dog cannot bite it has a bone in its mouth.
When fate arrives, the physician becomes a fool.
When gas stations start charging for air--that's inflation.
When it comes to helping you some people stop at nothing.
When it's you against the world, bet on the world.
When the chicken's feathers are of gold, it ain't too smart to make broth of the
When the crow is your guide, he will lead you to the corpses of dogs.
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
When things look dark, hold your head high so it can rain up your nose.
When we battle ourselves, if we wish to win we must outwit ourselves, and then,
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you put your head into the mortar, it is useless to dread the sound of the
Who lives content with little possesses everything.
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Whoever pats scorpions with the hand of compassion gets stung.
Why ask "Why ask "Why ask "Why ask "Why?"?"?"?"?
Why does love got to be so sad?
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
Without fingers, the hand would be a spoon.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Words must be weighed, not counted.
YOU WILL SOON FINISH YOUR THESIS!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE CRAZY.
Yes, I get funny looks. I like funny looks.
You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
You are being followed by a very large, tame bear.
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
You are going to have a new love affair.
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery.
You are taking advantage of the good nature of a friend. Be careful.
You are taking yourself too seriously.
You are topologically equivalent to a doughnut.
You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
You are unscrupulously dishonest, false, and deceitful.
You are wandering aimlessly through the forest
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
You auto buy now.
You can count the number of apples in one tree, but you can never count the numb
You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with earth is c
You can fracture your pride in a fall over your own bluff.
You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving.
You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
You can't get there from here.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cannot succeed by criticising others.
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You do not exist.
You don't need a weatherman to tell which way the wind blows.
You enjoy the company of other people.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.
You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly.
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
You have no real enemies.
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
You love peace.
You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a cottage at the beach.
You now have Asian Flu.
You only hurt the ones you club.
You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
You think, therefore you are; but what makes you think you are thinking?
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
You will be married within a year.
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
You will be successful in love.
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
You will be surrounded by luxury.
You will be where you most desire to be in a short while.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
You will have a flat tire before the end of the month.
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
You will have long and healthy life.
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
You will outlive those who seek to destroy you.
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
You will soon meet a stranger who will become your friend.
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
You're nothing but a pack of ringleaders!
Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
Your disk will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
Your domestic life may be harmonious.
Your enemies are closing in.
Your kindness and generosity cause envy in a powerful person nearby.
Your lover will never wish to leave you.
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
Your money buys more when you vacation in sunny California.
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
Your present plans will be successful.
Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
Your winning smile is your greatest asset.