The Night Before Implementation

By: Vint Cerf
Original: "Night Before Christmas"

'Twas the night before implementation
and all through the house,
not a program was working,
not even a browse.

The programmers hung by their tubes in despair
with hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
And the users were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of inquires danced in their heads.

Then out in the hall arose such a clatter!
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter!
And what to my wondering eyes would appear,
but a Super-Programmer (with two six-packs of beer)!

His resume glowed with experience so rare,
he turned out great code with a bit-pushers flare.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name;

On update! On add! On inquiry! On delete!
On batch jobs! On closing! On functions complete!

His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean
from weekends and nights in front of the screen!
A wink from his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk,
and laying his finger upon the "enter" key
the system came up and worked perfectly!

The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;
the inquiries inquired; and closing completed.

He tested each whistle, and tested each bell
with nary a bend, and all had gone well.

The system was finished, the tests were concluded;
the clients' last changes were even included.

But the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt:
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

Last update: 15 March 2007
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