I Hate Spammers

By: Turgidson
Original: "I Hate Banks" (Mojo Nixon)

I hate spammers, I just can't stand 'em,
Gimme a shovel, and man, I'd plant 'em,
Six feet under, that's where they belong,
"I Hate Spammers" is the name of this song,
Think I'll LART myself one or two,
I hate spammers, now how 'bout you-oo-oo? (How, how!)

Well, advertise your porn or your mail fraud scam,
But you best not do it with a stinky spam,
This "E-mail marketing institution,"
Thinks he's so high-falutin',
Just a pa-thetic dork losin' lotsa lawsuits,
Spamboy, you'll never get no loot,

I ain't got a packet out all night,
I must be on an AGIS site,
Quieter than a ghost town street,
Phil Lawlor can EAT MY MEAT!

When I ask 'em to stop they treat me like a dog,
I wanna hit 'em in the head with a doo-doo log,
Total jackasses, one and all,
Their tallywackers are mighty small,
No good dishonest sons-of-a-bitch,
I wanna make every spamboy twitch in a ditch!

All together now:

I hate spammers!
I hate spammers! (can't stand 'em!)
I hate spammers! (don't like 'em!)
I hate spammers! (bunch of foo-foos!)
I hate spammers! (wanna pop 'em like a big zit!)
I hate spammers!

[Repeat first verse, then:]
[Spoken:]

And you know something else?
I'm not exactly fond of the DMA, neither!

Last update: 25 July 2003
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