Hotel Thyberpromo

By: The One And Only Real True Phoenix
Original: "Hotel California" (The Eagles)

In a dark Unix lab room
Hot air in my face
Warm smell of the coffee,
Rising all over the place
Over there on my desktop
I saw a flickering light
I had no snacks or work to do
So I checked out the sight

There she was in the chat room
I heard the mailbox bell
And I was pondering to myself
If the net is Dante's hell
Then she told of a newsgroup
And she led me away
There were junk notes in my mailbox
I thought I saw them say:

"Welcome to the Hotel Thyberpromo
We're a bargain place
We're a bargain place (background)
For your foolish face
Infinite room at the Hotel Thyberpromo
Every time of year
Every time of year (background)
We will try to be here"

Her mind is UCE twisted
She's got news admin bends
She's got a lot of subscribing souls
That she defends
How they fight the mail flooding
Over and over again
Some are complaining forever;
Some are vowing revenge

So I yelled over at Thpamford,
"Why not shoot them, you swine!"
He said, "We haven't broken that much law
Since 9 o'clock last night."
And still those mails are coming from far away
Barge in on you in the middle of the night
Just to see them say:

"Welcome to the Hotel Thyberpromo
We're a bargain place
We're a bargain place (background)
For your foolish face
They're thpammin' it up at the Hotel Thyberpromo
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
For they're full of lies"

Horrid web page designing
Fake hackers on ice
And she said, "We are all life prisoners here
Of that sick man's vice."
And in the Cabal(tinc)'s newsgroups,
He gathered names for his feast
He stabs it with his scummy lies
But he just can't kill the beast!

Last thing I remember
I was frantically hitting Remove
I had to find some way out if I even had to sue;
"Relax" said Pickle Jar,
"It is programmed to deceive;
You can check out any time you like
....But you can never leave!"

Last update: 25 July 2003
This page maintained by Daniel Macks.
Please mail me with any concerns or suggestions.